This is Capitalism

As an underprivileged, under-qualified, undereducated and a minority who has an interest in technology and programming, when I flunked dropped out of college (similar to many geniuses), I was naturally invited to interview at and was hired at a Digital Agency as a programmer.

This was to be expected, naturally, as a racial minority member of society. It was an all white-agency, and I was bestowed attention and adoration, as the only minority member.

“At last, I have righted the inequity and injustice levied upon generations of my ancestors”, I thought, with my legs propped up on my desk, relaxing, “This is what we fight for.”

As I thought of my grandparents picking cotton in the fields, my throat felt quite parched. A white coworker walked by me.

“CRACKER, get me some water.”

My water was retrieved by my coworker quickly and politely, as they should be.

Day after day this repeated. Life was great. Nothing could have been better.

I did little work, as my employment was a sort of reparation to my ancestors before me. My coworkers catered to my every whim and desire.

I even took over an executive’s office. It was my safe space and was well deserved. There was just too much stimulation, looking around and seeing ONLY white faces all day. You need a place to relax without those people stuffing up the place with their annoying nasal’y voices, talking about their vegan diets and environmental concerns. NO THANK YOU.

As an aside – The environment truly is the greatest source of consternation for a racial minority like me. People will advocate all day for environmental needs, without even thinking of mine. “Hello? I’m being actively oppressed and persecuted. Can we focus on how difficult my life has become under Trump?” Amazing how obtuse people are, really.

My life at this digital agency had been great for months up to this point. As the only minority, I was treated well and with much respect.

So imagine my surprise when I walk in one day, and find a black woman sitting outside at my office safe space. I was shocked. And frankly disturbed. This was my replacement.

I rushed into my boss’s office.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?” I shrieked at him, “Can I not provide enough racial equity for you?”

My boss smiled creepily.

“Frankly, we’ve outgrown you. We have grown to a point at this firm, where we need someone whose ancestors experienced much more inequality, and your Mexican heritage just doesn’t fit the bill. Maybe you can find another firm where you will be more accepted, but we don’t anymore.”

This is Capitalism.